Testosterone
Starring: Antonio Sabato, David Sutcliffe 
Director: David Moreton
Fax: 2004, dark comedy


Former Calvin Klein model Antonio Sabato Jr steams up the screen as the gay Argentinean lover of equally sexy David Sutcliffe in Testosterone, a dark comedy from director David Morton.

Dean Seagrave (Sutcliffe), a brilliant graphic novelist with writer’s block, hasn’t been himself lately. Not long ago his sex-bomb Argentine lover Pablo (Sabato, Jr.) left their California beach house on a cigarette run, and he hasn’t been seen since. This exodus is particularly complicated for Dean because Pablo was meant to be the answer to all of Dean’s problems. That was the plan, anyway.

Unable to work, sleep or even drag a razor across his face, Dean does what any self-respecting romantic would do in this situation: he blows off his deadline, throws some clothes in a bag and books a flight on Aerolineas, Argentinas. Destination: Closure.

Once in Buenos Aires, Dean tries to track down his beloved Pablo, but this proves more difficult than he anticipated. In addition to the language barrier, Dean gradually discovers that practically everyone he encounters – from Pablo’s domineering mother (Sonia Braga) to the beautiful café owner Sofia (Celina Font), all the way to a guy he picks up in a bookstore (Leonardo Brzezicki) – is not what they seem.

By the time Dean and Pablo are re-united, the lines between art and life, resolution and revenge, man and maniac, have all gone fuzzy. Dean abandons all better judgment, and with his broken heart practically leaking blood and testosterone pumping through his veins, he puts a machete on his credit card and heads off to have one last talk with Pablo.

The plot is good.  There are even some funny lines.  But, the pacing throughout the film is off and it never quite makes the transition from humor to full out black comedy-thriller.

That's sad because this could have been a brilliant film rather than just a good one.

Most troubling was the casting of Sutcliffe and Sabato, Jr..  As eye candy they are lovely.  But, their love scenes are among the least erotic I have ever seen on a screen.

Sutclifffe is particularly stiff in all the wrong places.  He never develops his character fully and is wooden when he delivers his lines.  Sabato never transcends from being just pretty.

Save your applause for the three women in the cast.  Sonia Braga is wonderful as Pablo's mother. Only a drag queen could have been better, since the part calls for her to be squeezed into the tackiest dresses (on purpose) I've seen.  Add to that the wig and false eyelashes that would put Tammy Faye to shame and she is delightfully bigger than life.

Jennifer Coolidge gets kudos as Dean's earthy agent. She's nothing less than brilliant.

As the mysterious café owner, Celina Font, is terrific, not to mention beautiful. Mark my words, Hollywood will be all over he as the next big Latin actress.

So, with all of its flaws, two hunks and three great performances make Testosterone worth the ticket price.