Shauna Fehr - Friend and mentor

Shauna and me
She had a wonderful smile, I will remember that when I'm missing her
I met Shauna in November of 2006. That was when I was hired at Emergis. I knew her not, at that time, I was brand new. Over the next almost 10 years, I became to respect her, both as a friend and mentor. I mention the mentor part as I strived to be as good at my job as she was. I remember many times when I was having personal issues, and Shauna always made time for me. It didn't even have to be work related. Didn't matter at all. That is where the friends part comes in. No, I was not a regular participant in Shauna's personal life, but I watched over the years as she interacted with all the staff. She was my boss, yes, but more than that. I watched and listened as she spoke about Avery (and Alex). She was one hell of a mother.

Is it possible to be friends with someone, solely based on work relationships? It is. I spent about 1/3 of my life at work. That's a lot of time to get to know someone.

I had many conversations where she listened intently as I rattled on about what ever. She cared. She cared about me. That's a friend. Having a manager like her is a rarity. I speak from my experiences as a manager. Never once did I ever sit and listen to the majority of my staff, over the years. Ok there was one. Pam. She was my right hand. She was my friend. She still is today.

I am sad that my friendship with Shauna is now over. But she will always be on my mind and I can always think of her... and her wonderful smile. Today I am angry. Angry about not seeing her. No chance to say goodbye. Only family and friends. Was I not a friend? Did I mistake my work relationship with being a friend? I don't have that same relationship with anyone else here. With Shauna it was different.

There were times I needed negative feedback - and those times I felt that I let her down. But she cared enough to tell me. She also gave me feedback when I was doing well. That's the work side. The fact that I felt I let her down at times speaks volumes.

I can't get her (smiling) face out of my head. As soon as I am not busy, poof! There she is. She is always smiling. Am I to take that that she knew I wanted to come but had to keep the visitors to family and close friends? I know I wasn't a close friend, but I was much more than her employee. Here's hoping this phase passes quickly.

I spoke with another friend (colleague) and she figures that Shauna did not want us to see her in her weakened state so advised us to stay away. Hmmm. Maybe. After all, she was our leader. Leaders are ALWAYS strong. Found out when her funeral is and it's in about a week. Strange, though I HATE funerals, I need to go to this one.

What Will Matter - by Michael Josephson

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built.

What will matter is not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice. Choose to live a life that matters.

From Shauna's facebook page. This is her.
I will miss her. Terribly.