Those Evil Gay People
by Eleanor Brown

We scare the bejeezus out of heterosexuals. But how does one cope with such fear? As I read through what gay people are responsible for (uhm, the destruction of Greek civilization, to start), I am reminded of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a charming tract mailed to me one sunny day many years ago.

"I am totally appalled and disgusted," read the accompanying note, decrying the gay-positive content of a student handbook I'd been involved with. "As a freelance journalist I will do everything in my power to sensationalize this 'filth' of yours... WORLDWIDE. Let the Christian people know that the Golden Calf is back in Babylon." Then there was a bunch of stuff about how I'm mindlessly following the evil teachings of the Jews.

The Protocols (a well known fake) are a plan to bring forth the Kingdom of the anti-Christ. The instructions include for Jews to seduce youth, prey upon vice, destroy family life, destroy respect for religion, introduce filth into literature, propagate poisons like alcohol and drugs, and divert the masses with lotteries and other games. Plus destroying financial stability (world bankruptcy and all that).

Sound familiar? In 2004, replace the word "Jew" with the word "gay." The same weapons of hatred and fear are used over and over. And we have yet to eradicate anti-Semitism, which means homophobia has a long way to go, as well. But in a way, we should be thankful for the nutters.

Let's take a look at what we're responsible for:

* Fat people. Or rather, fat bloated children. Last month the British Conservative Lord Tebbit linked obesity to "buggery." Hizzoner told BBC radio that Britain is facing a child obesity crisis, and it's all because of a decline in family values, which is of course related to the slow acceptance of same-sex relationships. Lawd Tebbit said the government is "doing everything it can to support buggery."

*The torture of Iraqi prisoners by US soldiers (and the use of gay sex to humiliate them). Author Robert Knight put a lot of thought into this analysis. Here it is: "We were told putting women into combat areas is progressive and enlightened. We were told pornography is liberating, and that anyone who objects is a narrow-minded Puritan who needs therapy. We have been flooded with porn imagery on mainstream television and in magazine ads. Where did those soldiers get the idea to engage in sadomasochistic activity and to videotape it in voyeuristic fashion? Easy. It's found on thousands of Internet porn sites and in the pages of "gay" publications, where S&M events are advertised alongside ads for Subarus, liquor and drugs to treat HIV and hepatitis."

And America's slow acceptance of gayness is putting God-fearin' hetero Americans at risk all over the world: "We were told homosexuality is harmless and normal, and the military should live with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy that allows homosexuals to stay in the barracks. We were told that men "marrying" men and women "marrying" women is inevitable – not only for America, but for the world. Imagine how those images of men kissing men outside San Francisco City Hall after being "married" play in the Muslim world. We couldn't offer the mullahs a more perfect picture of American decadence. This puts Americans at risk all over the world, especially Christian missionaries who are trying to bring the Gospel to people trapped in
darkness for millennia."

*The collapse of Enron megacorp. See, the immoral atmosphere of supporting homos is eating into the brains of entrepreneurs, who are then embezzling bazillions because they've lost all sense of right and wrong. Some newspaper editor in the American South wrote an editorial stating that: "Nowhere is this attitude more in evidence than in the battle over same-sex domestic partnerships in large corporations. According to the pro-homosexual Human Rights Campaign, a near majority of the Fortune 500 companies now offer same-sex domestic partner benefits to employees. And – not incidentally – all of the “Big Five” accounting firms (including Arthur Andersen) now offer same-sex benefits."

* 9-11, the destruction of the Twin Towers in New York and some 5,000 deaths. It started with Rev. Jerry Falwell, who announced during his TV show: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

He said the attacks were God's judgment on America for "throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked." (He apologized later, but reinforced the idea that the U.S. has mocked God and must pay the price.)

His colleague Pat Robertson later picked up on that theme: "We have sinned against Almighty God, at the highest level of our government, we've stuck our finger in your eye," said Robertson. "The Supreme Court has insulted you over and over again, Lord. They've taken your Bible away from the schools. They've forbidden little children to pray. They've taken the knowledge of God as best they can, and organizations have come into court to take the knowledge of God out of the public square of America."

* The abuse of youngsters by Roman Catholic priests. CNN's Crossfire once tackled this by hosting a debate on whether gay culture was responsible for priests' rape of children.

* Hitler and Word War II. Minnesota state Rep. Arlon Lindner said that "the main gay participants in the Holocaust were Nazi concentration camp guards." We killed the Jews, you see (and lied about being incarcerated ourselves). A book called The Pink Swastika: Homosexuality in the Nazi Party (1995, by Scott Lively and Kevin Abrams) says we were responsible for orchestrating Hitler's rise to power. And author Michael Wagner wrote last year that "the influence of homosexuals in the Nazi Party and Nazi regime was quite strong, especially in the formative years of the party. A careful look at the situation reveals that homosexuals were responsible for many acts of Nazi brutality. Many Nazi leaders were themselves homosexuals."

That's about all I can manage today. But let me say again that we should be happy that this sort of insanity exists. Because it's easy to get sympathy and support from the masses when the opposition is frothing mad.

That resulting little bit of sympathy engendered in Mr. and Mrs. Joe and Jane Regular Folk is an important start in the battle against homophobia. The real opponent is the everyday bigotry that many heterosexuals don't even realize they suffer from. Their recognition of the looniness out there is the beginning of consciousness.

Now we need to capitalize on that inkling.