Do you want to know if you suffer from "Alertness Deficit Disorder" (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD takes the lives of millions of Americans, hundreds of Canadians, and a handful of Ugandans every year. If that doesn't scare you, let's just say that you are more susceptible than anyone else. YES, YOU! If you suffer from this disease, missing just one trip to Starbucks could be FATAL.
The following series of Yes/No questions will allow us to determine your Addiction Factor(TM). Keep track of the number of Yes and No answers you get and chart yourself at the end. Remember: Prevention is the best medicine. Or was it laughter? Either way, read on.
- Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?
b) Right out of the pot?
a) to get up in the morning?
b) to get out of bed?
to be injected intravenously to stimulate blood-flow?
b) ...in more than five?
c) ...in your bathroom?
b) ...because you're wearing out their hole-punch?
c) ...and it's bad for the environment?
b) ...and his donkey?
b) ...that you don't like?
c) ...because it's too frustrating?
You are a well-rounded member of society with a love for life and
you are very wise.
You are a slightly jagged member of society, life's okay but it
could be better and you are relatively naive.
What are you, some kinda nature-freak tree-hugger!? Coffee's not
good enough for you, huh? Here, have some more TOFU! How about some